Children are Little People - Please Treat Them With Respect

Each time I read about step-families and divorced couples with children, my heart bleeds for the children. That's right, FOR THE CHILDREN! The reason being is that children are the INNOCENT products of sex.

Having "been there, done that" I have flashbacks of my experiences in fighting for custody of my step-children. I believe those flashbacks will remain with me the remainder of my life. Some of the painful events of the battles we fought, just to visit with my stepchildren are unforgettable. There are too many events, even today, that trigger those flashbacks.

I can't help but wonder and worry about what children are going through today versus many years ago when we fought our battle. Have times changed much? I read about co-parenting and shared custody now. I know for a fact that would NOT have worked with my husband and his ex-wife. She had the affair while they were married, yet she seemed to resent our marriage. It takes two people to make a relationship work, whether it's ex-spouses or current spouses. If both parents do not have the best interests of the children at heart, it won't work and the children suffer. You may not actually see how deeply the child is suffering until many years down the road.

My husband's ex wife used their children as pawns. The only reason she wanted them around was for the child support and she knew how important the children were to my husband. Keeping them from us was her way of punishing us. When she was ready to do some serious partying, she sent the children to our house the majority of the time. which of course we didn't mind, but the toll it took on the children is what was the most painful. At a young age, my stepchildren witnessed the drugs in their home, but luckily they didn't know what it was. It was only when they decribed what they saw to the police, did we even know what they were exposed to. We were adults and knew what was going on. However, the children don't understand the "games" adults play to get even with each other. It's possible, the children are the "mature" people in a divorce.

My husband's ex-wife also deeply resented our marriage. We have been married now nearly 30 years. She, on the other hand, has been married four times...so far. I assume she will find another husband before too much longer. I feel for the children, who are now adults, that have had three step-fathers, not to mention the various number of "boyfriends" that have been in and out of their lives. I don't understand why someone would put their own happiness over that of their children. But then there are alot of things I just don't understand. Maybe I'm just getting old...